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I've been staring at this link now for something like 40 seconds or so. Maybe a minute. An eternity in pixel time, and I don't know if I want to watch it or not. I searched it out, I've got it there in front of me, how is it any different than seeing pictures of iraqi kids with their heads blown off, the skin of their scalp limp and folded like a wash-cloth?

So I didn't watch it. Instead I watched a chronicle of stills pulled from the movie, maybe 15 in all. Is it not so graphic? Do I just fill in the gaps with my own anxiety? My heart is beating like thud-thud the sort that is almost too loud...and my mouth all pasty.

The pictures were on three different pages all linked together. I made my window only big enough that I could scroll slowly, not with anticipation but why, because I had goosebumps? I am sort of sick to my stomach. Is it because he's an american?

I don't think I'll ever watch it. But what makes this so different? The final shot with his head resting in his own hands that are tied behind his back? What is so disturbing about the bewildered stance of the people standing behind him while it's being done? So unnerving about a 26-year old head, eyes slightly open, dangling bodyless from a left hand...a head which only minutes before said Philidelphia. Today I watched online American news show the footage...slowly fading out as the man pulled a knife from his jacket. I was mortified. Tonight on Belgian news they show the man pulling out the knife and pulling the guy to the ground and then a fade...a return to newscaster that said, "the rest is too cruel to show."

I read someone who said, this was only released now to take the attention off of the prison abuse photographs.

Today Jelle, my coworker, and I talked about brutality, or at least commented on it. We also watched a movie of Mexican Air Force UFO sightings...

What do you say when you've just nearly seen a decapitation by knife. I remember watching a movie about the French revolution, but it was a movie. Is it because he's an American? Notice that I capitolized the 'A' this time...by accident. All of the boys that were two years younger in school, two years younger still. I can't name a one. One. Josh Post. Played football. His brother was in my class...Brad. But now I'm off the subject. Is that the reason, or is it the gore of it all...the white head seperated from the body for the whole world to see with just one click... Oh what a world it is.