May 04, 2002 : rainbows in brussels

(Eva, myself, Bart, Patje, Susan and Leila go to Brussels for 2002 Belgian Gay Pride)

Gay Pride is weird. I don't know what it means.

Does it mean being proud of the fact that I would marry Eva if I could? Does it boil down to the act of sex between the same gender? Is it about growing old with a same-gender partner? Is it about "celebrating our diversity?" Is it about gay boy glam perfect body dance music? Is it just a reason to be on tv? Is it about fighting aids? Is it about condoms and safe sex? Is it about equal rights? About health insurance or legalized documents that go on record? (if you leave me I get half of your stuff...and we split the child...you've got weekends and summers...I've got monday-friday.) Is it about being seen? About being counted? Is it about hand holding in mass numbers...stopping traffic in a major city? About a sequined, fake-breasted drag queen posing for a Japanese tourist's camera...and the six of us all regular with unbrellas in the background? Is it about old ladies giving us the thumbs up from the parade route window...or mouth-opened accidental bystanders who just want to cross the street? Is it about being in a crowd and knowing that you all have something in common...that you are gay, have a child who is gay, or know someone that is gay?

I don't know what it is about. Most of the time I just want to be us. And us every day. I dont' want to be different around anyone, (Parents excluded...it is for our sanity...and out of honor sort of?) if you meet me on the street or in a bar you are going to get the same impression of me...of eva...of us. No different than the us among thousands.

Groups. So many groups. Divy it up into gay, lesbian, transgender, bisexual, leather, hairy, disabled, young, old, into sports, into travel, feminist, leather, sauna-men, top, bottom, femme, butch, dyke, into nature, queeny, military-ish, nude, s&m, punk, homeless, HIV-positive, religious, specific town, specific bar, specific scene, women-only, men-only, mixed, gay-friendly...are you catching my drift? How strange? I catch myself being reminded that the gay world is simply a smaller version of the straight world. Every single thing I have mentioned is also a fascet of some heterosexual lifestyles.

I had forgotten. Maybe that is why I always arrive at pride parades hesitent, but leave in high spirits. I have to reevaluate every single time how I feel about it. Why am I proud? Am I not proud every day? Where should I walk? What float should I follow? (several hours pass) And then I remember that we're in this together regardless...we are in the same small-world version boat together. And funny thing is, everyone is smiling and trying to have a good time.

I had a great time. It rained, it poured...we walked for 4 hours through the heart of Brussels switching the umbrellas from hand to hand...arm in arm, waving, dancing, drinking a couple of beers...it was fun. I've already said this before, but Eva's got good freinds. Bart and Patje were excellent all-day pride companions...we tired at the same time and took the same train home.

(we later had tea at with Susan and Leila and told them what they missed...and they told us that while we were trudging through the rain, they almost bought a piano.)

And then we made it home. Finally. My toes are raisens.

And then I am reminded that I like Belgium.

I cringe at the stereotypes on tv in the states that would sum up a pride event by showing scantly clad, rainbow colored boys bringing attention to their private parts...their very obvious private parts. But no...Belgium. Tv has no scantly clad boys...rather interviews with people who could be your neighbors, your checkout lady at the corner market, your kid's teacher in school, your town leader, your moms best friend. And this is what they show.

Interview: Hi. I'm a dad. We're here because we want people to know that though it's hard, it's your kid. He or She will always be your kid. And you don't want to risk losing them.
Interview: For 16 years we've been lobbying for rights. When is this going to happen? Why not now?

And footage of prominant politicians scattered among the crowd.

Amazing. Ok? It's nothing short of amazing...a bit of our little small-scale world interacting with the real one. I guess, in light of this fact, I'll keep on going...year after year with whisle or balloons or flags or signs or handholding...because every year it gets a little bit better somehow. And hopefully someday we won't even have to have pride anymore...it will be too accepted and common. I think I'm even hoping for boring.

IN THE NEWS:
Five pipe bombs were found Saturday in rural Nebraska mailboxes, heightening fears among Midwesterners already on edge after similar bombs injured six people a day earlier in Iowa and Illinois.