July 07, 2002 : decent and worst

It has been one of the worst weekends ever. It's not like I really want to write that, it just seems fair. Friday seemed good enough, we road with Eva's friend Ann to Amsterdam and I got to be navigator for the evening.

Actually, Friday shouldn't even be lumped into an entry entitled "worst" because it was actually a great night. Their other friend Elke lives in Amsterdam and just got her Masters diploma that day. She lives in an MTV's Real World-like living arrangement atop a suburban-Amsterdam apartment complex with no elevator. It's 6 stories high with a million concrete stairs. Why they would build a new building without an elevator seems crazy to me. What about old-lady grandmas or baby strollers or gimpy roommates that break their legs?

So Friday was spent in Amsterdam in a party setting. Her parents and grandma were there, here roommates, her colleagues, her ex-boyfriend, and 2 long-time friends from Belgium. And me. It went on until 1 in the morning. By this time I was completely knackered (Eva word) and ready for bed. You can only take so much of picking up every 100th word of conversations for so long. Earlier in the evening I had managed to break out of my shell and visit...joking about my Dutch and then even having a couple of real conversations. But the later the evening got, the more let's-sit-around-the-coffee-table-and-pow-wow it got.
(it's a self-pity-pity-party.)

So Saturday. Nice. If you haven't gone to Amsterdam, go. Not for the coffee-shops that sell weed or the tour of the Heineken facilities, not for the red-light district or for the windmills. Just go. It's heaving with cool-town vibes. It's heaving with leaning buildings and bicyclists. If you live in Belgium, it makes you want to live there. Not for the Dutch (they speak like they are clearing their throats) but for the vibe. The Netherlands in general have a great vibe. Great feel. I guess it wouldn't have to be Amsterdam specifically, as the other bits I've seen seem just as vibe-filled...but you get the point.

So now the "worst." The worst weekend in quite a long time. In fact I can't think of a worse weekend off of the top of my head. On Friday I had left the apartment in a bit of a mess. I had worked all day trying to get some stuff together for Elke for a present and nothing seemed to work out. I literally ran to the train station practically wet-headed in order to meet Eva and Ann in Mechelen at the appropriate time. I knew it was a tip. (Eva's word.) I told her it was devastated. I had planned on cleaning up but had simply ran out of time. (keep this in mind)

So we move rapidly from good time in Amsterdam (why we left mid-afternoon, I'll never know) to bad time in Antwerp. We had planned to come home and keep the momentum going...maybe see a movie, maybe rent one and see it at her brother's place, go out for Thai food, celebrate something, maybe go out dancing since we haven't been in 3 months...something.

This is a paraphrase of the events...
Enter Eva into the apartment. She goes to the restroom, I turn on computer. She exits restroom and begins to do dishes. I check email. I say, "Hey, don't do that, let's just go into town." To which she says, "No, I want to get it done." To which I say, "Please don't do that now, let's go into town." And so I go back to a forwarded email from my mother and then I hear coffee cups being slammed into the sink. I freak out completely. I say,"Thanks for ruining my fucking night." I leave and pull entire shelf of books with me. She's left there standing in the middle of a pile of books in a too-small apartment that is a mess.

Me? I'm outta there.

Now that may sound pretty ridiculous. Granted, after letting it rest for a day it does sound really stupid. But this is why I'm writing it down. Eva can vent all she wants in a little blue book, but I'm doing it here. It's fair.

We make amends several hours later, after I've already realized I have the keys to her brothers' house (they are on vacation), and after I've already walked all over town to find a cash machine that will take my card. We eat at Grillhouse 77 and stuff ourselves silly. We make up. We watch a could-have-been-a-bit-more-decent movie called the Straight Story and then go to bed.

We've already decided by this time that Sunday morning we should go to the market. I'm in a new frame of mind to start saving money for our new place. I've already promised her that I'll do a better job. More Aldi and less Vergo. I'll start going to the Moroccan store on the corner and start buying my veggies at the big market on the weekends.

We get out of bed at 1:30.

We head into town and make the most of it. All of the cash machines are messed up and there are literally Dutch people and Antwerpenaars going nuts trying to find Euros. I don't know what happened exactly, but something was wrong with the network or something. No money. We digress to the Proton (utilizing the smart-chip on our bank cards) and head to a phone-booth where we can transfer funds from our bank account to our Proton account and use that at the Quick.

I get a Long Chicken Meal and Eva gets pigeon shit. She actually got a Maxi burger or something? But when we brought our stuff outside to eat, I realize that a bird has shit on her coat sleeve. Then we realize there are pigeons everywhere. This is a little un-nerving. And then we realize how pretty they seem (I'm a defender of pigeons) and then how gross they are. Some were missing toes, some had fungi-looking things hanging form their toenails, some had string stuck to their feet, some hobbled when they walked...very unappetizing. We finished our dinner and went to catch the tram. We would have gone for coffee but the no-cash problem was holding us back. We made a plan to go home, grab writing material and head to the Pink House so we could check off some of our "To Do" list.

We're having fun, if you couldn't tell. We plan to continue having fun.

This is a paraphrase of the events...
Enter Eva into the apartment. She goes to the restroom, I turn on the radio. She exits restroom and starts picking up the living-room. I start picking up the books. She enters the hyper-cleaning mode where she sighs a lot. I say, "Hey, don't do that, let's just get our stuff and go. We can do this tonight." To which she says something I can't remember, To which I say, "Let's not repeat yesterday, let's just get our stuff and go." And so I go to the sink and start putting dishes away. I'm literally just putting them away and she says,"If you are going to throw the plates, I'll put the dishes away." I freak out completely. I say,"Oh, ok, so why don't you come over here and show me how to put away plates. I'm just putting them away." I press the issue over and over again about the sound-levels of the plates and then she freaks out.

She's outta there.

So you see how this is becoming the label of worst. We make amends later on but it's not like you can just get-over two identical "situations" in two consecutive days. And then there is the whole issue of the apartment. The apartment that Eva and I both want. The difference between the places is literally only 85 Euros. (that's like 87 USD) I'd gladly pay 20 bucks a month extra for a terrace on which to walk out of occasionally. I'd gladly not eat Indian once a month if that meant we'd have a bed-room separate from the "office" or the "living room." I'd gladly drop another 20 on the fact that it has a tub and even another 20 for enough room to invite people over. I'm talking over for dinner and even to spend the night. No more whispers through the curtain to our guests on the couches... They'd have their own space. And I didn't even mention the fact that our two bicycles and our 1 scooter would have plenty of breathing room down in the bike-room which is not to be confused with the hallway. :)

I am sure it will get better once I become less slobby, but she has to give me time to show her that I"m less slobby. I am sure it will get better once I get a job, but it will take time to get a job. I am sure it will get better once I speak Dutch, but that's a long way off. I am sure it will get better once I start shopping at the market and at Aldi...but that will take a couple of weeks to show her that its not a fluke. I am sure it will get better once we get back from Italy, if only I get some money before we go. If not, then we'll be eating ramen noodles every night and you can only eat so many packets of ramen while you're in Italy. No way!

So as far as bickering goes, we've had our share this weekend and we're through with it. No more for quite awhile. Now I know how important an empty kitchen sink is to Eva and now she knows that I'm going to start on a whole new project, me. funny how that's what the point of my dossier is...getting to know myself a little bit better. It's always a good thing, isn't it? And she's going to do the same.

As far as the apartment goes...we're going to give it a go. We're going to try to get it. We're going to make it our new home. Hopefully it will be more of a home than a shelter...this current place has been a bit of half and half. I think we've done a great job of making it cozy, labeling corners as "rooms" and our bed as "heaven." It's fun regardless. New places are just that, new. I don't know if it's because I like packing and repacking or if it's because I like new scenery. I'm voting for new scenery...it'll be great to watch the sun rise over a hospital...and having a terrace that looks out on the backsides of other buildings as well as grass. Grass and trees! I guess the bickering was worth it...because it's the one thing we ended up agreeing on in the end. The apartment will be a new adventure, and we consider ourselves adventurers.

IN THE NEWS:
(both worth mentioning that lasted over the weekend)

Asia's typhoon and monsoon seasons claimed more victims as heavy rains and high winds swelled rivers and whipped up seas in different corners of the region, where floods have made around a million people homeless.

Yes, it says a million.

Pakistani police said on Monday they had arrested two more men accused of gang-raping a woman on the orders of a village jury, bringing to four the total held so far, but a fifth suspect was still at large. The case has caused a sensation in Pakistan after a traditional village jury, or panchayat, ordered the rape as punishment for the woman's brother allegedly having an affair with a girl from a higher-caste tribe.

Yes, it says, "as punishment for the woman's brother having an affair."