Eva, Three

14.11.01 |

Every night as we fall into bed,
we set aside a whole day of missing.
the train pass left at home
the scarf on the floor beside the table
the coffee stained mug in the sink
Forgetting the missing
we did while we were apart—
during the hours that we busied ourselves
busied our hands in repetitive motion
filled our minds, packing the minutes with problems,
answers, a quick sting of distance,
back to translations, solutions

Every night as we climb into bed
we set aside a whole day of missing…
a whole day.
We have eaten dinner quickly, sipped our coffee
listened to the BBC on the radio
had an after-dinner cigarette
sifted through our hours apart,
and brought to light-life the moments worthwhile.
And now,
shedding our day clothes for skin,
we fall into shapes on the sheets—
sandbags, heavy
indenting the secondhand mattress
pouring out words like a sentence never-ending

“I love you. Same. I love you.
Will you marry me? Of course.
(we exchange rings for the twentieth time)
Do you like your new job? Love it.
(we laugh)
Like it. I love only You.
I could lay here with you for days on end. Agreed.
Tomorrow can you cut my hair? Sure.
(we have put this off for a week already.)
Tomorrow night lets go to bed at 11.
(tonight it was midnight or 1)
Morning is going to come so quickly.
Can you move your arm?
(she moves her arm)
Did you set the alarm? Yes.
We are so lucky. Fortunate. Blessed. All of the above.
Kiss me.
(we kiss…our faces soft)
Another please. Ok.
Can I stare at you for awhile?
Do you mind if I stare back with my eyes closed?
(I laugh) No.
(Slowly she begins to mumble, jerk)
Are you asleep?” (said in a whisper)

Her breathing is heavy…long

One of us lies there, wide awake,
the other is now sleeping.

Every night as we sleep in our bed
we are holding on, storing away, recharging,
filling up
turning, but not tossing, memorizing details,
savoring bits and pieces to take in our lunches
to eat on our breaks
to fill the space between the problems and solutions
to last us through the parting, the busy work,
and then the reunion.

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